As a survivor of early childhood sexual abuse, tormented by bullies in elementary and Jr High school, runaway from 12-17, sex trafficked at 15 and the real hell from surviving the surfing aka the healing & self growth journey… I KNOW IMPENDING DOOM.
The past 8 months has been SO STRESSFUL and I’m not alone…
”As the number of cases of COVID-19 increases, so does the associated anxiety.” https://mhanational.org/covid19
At first I was confused. Charlie and I were in Arizona the day before everything shut down. You couldn’t find hand sanitizer anywhere. It was surreal. I didn’t know what the truth was. Is this a real threat? Is this propaganda? All the while knowing full well
that not only do I have asthma… btw here is what the national center for disease control has to say to asthmatics re: covid
There is currently no preventive treatment or vaccine for COVID-19. The best way to prevent illness is to avoid being exposed to
the virus (SARS-CoV-2) that causes COVID-19.
Prepare for COVID-19
Make sure that you have at least a 30-day supply of your medicines .
Take everyday precautions like washing your hands, avoiding close contact and staying at least 6 feet (about 2 arms’ length)
from other people .
Wear masks in public settings and when around people who don’t live in your household.
When out in public, keep away from others and avoid crowds.
Wash your hands often with soap and water for at least 20 seconds or use hand sanitizer that contains at least 60% alcohol.
Avoid cruise travel and non-essential air travel .
During a COVID-19 spread (outbreak) in your community, stay home as much as possible to reduce your risk of being exposed.
If someone in your home is sick , have them stay away from the rest of the household to reduce the risk of spreading the virus in
But I’ve had pneumonia a dozen or more times in my lifetime. The last time was three years ago after attending a 5 day massive
conference in Florida… I had pneumonia for 13 weeks.. inflamed lungs that required 3 round of steroids.
I give all this medical and trauma data as justification for my constant star of confusion, fear and grief over the last 8 months.
The threat is always there… every new case of covid in my county feels personal.
It helps…a little…to know Im not alone…
If you are a survivor who feel emotionally exhausted by the stress of COVID, you aren’t alone! https://sanctuaryforfamilies.org/trafficking-covid19/
Its okay to feel how you feel It is important to talk about how trauma can manifest in different ways, and there is no shame, blame or guilt for being triggered by the COVID-19 pandemic. If you are feeling this way, know that you are not alone. Many survivors are feeling similarly. It is ok if you can identify with any of these feelings. In many ways, it makes sense after the experiences you have lived through Human being offenders were easy to prepare for than COVID.
My abusers were human beings. I could read them and know what hell was coming and prepare/brace for it. There were breaks of
time that I could catch my breath. COVID feels unrelenting. Going to the grocery store could mean death for me, gas station,
post office box, livestock feed store, meeting others outside with a mask. I haven’t gone for a pedicure, manicure, spa or gym or
concert of any kind in 8 months. I’ve gained weight. I have gone to my doctor and chiropractor and eye doctor. I’ve had a increase in migraines… I guess I’m clenching my teeth… stress.
Here are some tricks and tips that are helping me manage my stress
Here’s what’s working for me:
Acknowledgement that the similarity feeling/energy of impending doom from molesters, bullies, rapists, johns, PTSD and COVID is totally understandable.
Changing my story from I’m more vulnerable because I’m broken… to I am a survivor. I survived then, Ill survive now by being smart
and taking care of me.
Giving myself permission kindly to hold myself to the standard of precaution that is advised for elderly and those with preconditions…
… because guess what… I do.
I owe no one an apology for this fact although I feel like I need to apologies to my friends for not going anywhere there are groups
I have a selfcare “go to” when I redline. I go back to the basics …
- Asleep by 10pm.
- Up by 6am.
- Eat 5 little meals.
- Eat as clean as possible… sugar and caffeine can really mess with my mental health balance. No coffee after noon.
- Walk outside everyday. 10,ooo steps a day min. 20k max. Sunshine on my face for 30 min.
- Take my vitamins including D iu 2000 daily
- Greens. Seriously junk food eaters are more depressed than plant eaters. Make a smoothy if you need to, I use green Vibrance in my green juice for extra oomph.
- Motion creates emotion… I set my phone alarm and walk around every 60-90 minutes. I am careful what I watch, read, listen to. It totally affects me.
- When I feel myself sink a bit… I like to watch old YouTube of Motown soul train shows and dance around! Try it!
- Ask for what you need. So far I have told two people I wanted to talk because I was feeling sad. I have never asked them before. Both of them did not respond. But other people…who I didn’t confess to or ask for help did reach out.
YOU MAY NOT GET WHAT YOU WANT FROM PEOPLE YOU THINK SHOULD BE THERE FOR YOU. WATCH FOR HOW THE UNIVERSE MEETS YOUR NEEDS IN OTHER WAYS THROUGH OTHER PEOPLE.
Its really cool! I like to write those down in my gratitude diary as a reminder.
What do you do to take care of yourself during this time? Please share!