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Mastering the Art of Being Inconvenienced in an Entitled World


Want to strengthen your self confidence, increase your self esteem? Follow a proven Spiritual path that will call out the wounds in you that needs to be healed the most… and heal you in ways you didn’t think possible? 


Jump on the path of being inconvenienced! 



Below are a few of my favorite modern day Gurus all pointing to their presumption that our life journey  is a Spiritual Journey with countless paths/rivers all flowing to… coming from and ending in an infinite ocean called God or Love or I AM, that I AM or whatever title feels groovy to your mind. That this infinite God or ocean of Love is the substance from which our Souls are forever connected to. It is the very energy that our higher self is made of…comes from..and will return to…life time after life time.



Ram Dass (Richard Alpert, phd) Talks about BE HERE NOW 



Scott Peck Another thought provoking self described mystic on the spiritual path by way of humanity.




Eckhart Tolle  talks a lot about accepting the reality of what is, while still having the choice to plan and take action steps towards change.


Byron Katie also puts a lot of emphasis on accepting what is, while using the tool of questioning our stories about our own realities in her 4 question process called “The Work”


These are a few of my favorite modern day Gurus all pointing to their presumption that our life journey  is a Spiritual Journey with countless paths/rivers all flowing to… coming from and ending in… an infinite ocean called God or Love or I AM, that I AM or whatever title feels groovy to your mind. That this infinite God or ocean of Love is the substance from which our Souls are forever connected to. It is the very energy that our higher self is made of…comes from..and will return to…life time after life time. 



Every living Soul all connected, whether knowingly or not, to the creator of Souls, I call “Mother/Father God” or LOVE.



Being a survivor of chronic sexual/physical/emotional abuse, my path was to try to not get killed, so I would avoid, run, bargain, surrender. I learned how to do… what I absolutely did not want to do… so I could eat, be safe from greater harm … to, in fact,  save my own life.


It served me in that, I did survive. 


I also survived the next section of the river of life on my spiritual journey back to the source from which I came… 


I survived the surviving. 


A much more cunning incongruent and dangerous section indeed! Definitely class #5 rapids. Wear a life vest and helmet kids…its going to be a bumpy ride.


This is where so many give up and return back to abusive relationships, addictions where they are on old familiar grounds. Some spend a life time trying to move forward over and over. Some succeed, most do not. I did.


I continued to put myself through the rigors of  participating in activities, life styles, jobs, relationships, that were so profoundly INCONVENIENT. 



As children we gladly take on the chores that please the human beings that we depend on for everything, because we receive joy in pleasing them. Much like my 5 month old lab puppies are with me now. Oh do they love to do anything that makes me happy!


Then, when adolescence hits,  we learn about separateness and choices and give push back when there are requests that we deem inconvenient. This is where we learn, the hard way, about consequences.


This is where we get our foundational belief around what it means to do something, that we don’t want to do. Different consequences work differently on different children.  Cause and effect with numerous possible outcomes. 


This is where I see some adult children ( I believe a lot of  grown ups are wounded children in grown up person body suits) as fundamentally resistant to do anything they don’t want to do. Or the other side of the spectrum, the adult child people pleaser, who cant say no… but there is a price to pay for her free help. 


And the “Nature vs Nurture” debate begins! 


Enneagram: Im a type #2 (helper)


Born on the year of the wood dragon:


Lady Gaga said I was born this way!


… and does it really matter?


Its all an interesting read and wasn’t it Socrates that said, “An Unexamined Life Is Not Worth Living”


Examining life for me has provided many “aha” moments that I used as bricks or evidence to build a spiritual belief that gives me hope and purpose. Its given my past, present and goals in life, meaning. It calls me to evolve into the best version of myself. There is no condemnation, only consequences in this life and Karma that stays with you as long as it takes for you to energetically correct your sin or missed mark… even if it takes a 1000 lifetimes. 


When Einstein studied the mass/matter he found that behind everything, was nothing. Just space. A wooden chair under a powerful microscope down to its core was… nothing. Air. I believe that is God. Air. Space. Everything. Everywhere. .. and God is good. Life is good. 


People can be the walking wounded. Sick broken people can do sick broken things and other people call what they do or who they are, Evil.


I digress… back to Mastering The Art of Inconvenience


I believe the mental toughness.. the muscles I used to save my own life… has served me well. Now I use it as a spiritual practice. 


When I lived in Kansas, I enjoyed two churches the most, Unity Church of Overland Park and The Church of The Resurrection ( COR ) in Leawood


At C.O.R. one Sunday Paster Adam talked about his calling to the ministry. Then he told the congregation about his desire or calling to be his wifes husband…and that that too was a ministry in and of itself. Paster Adam said that every morning he would get on his knees as a physical act of surrender and humility before God and ask God how he could be in service to the ministry of his wife. How could he serve his wife in that day? How could he make her life easier, bring her more joy, support her in her goals…meet her needs.


This was a game changer. 


For so much of my life, as a victim, I had been forced to do what I did not want to do. Then later in life I made choices to do things that would have rather not done, but felt I had no other viable alternatives to reach my goals for survival at that time. I wanted my own studio apartment in the good part of town, a reliable car, food, work, basic bills paid, therapy, basics for my young children. I willingly chose to do unethical behaviors and put myself in countless inconvenient situations that were so far out of my own inner authenticity or integrity that I seemed light years away from the life I wished for myself. No one forced me. I had only one valuable asset, my looks, and I used my looks to meet my immediate needs for basic life above welfare and state dependency. Like honor among thieves…I did this only when I felt I had no there choice. I did this less and less as I learned the skills required to stand on my own two feet. Independence was always the goal. There is nothing like being able to meet your own needs and wants! To live the life you want, how you want, with the people you want! Can I get an amen!?


I also learned that loving others, mate, family, friends, those in need… is a ministry. 


Putting others before yourself can be utterly inconvenient. 


The potential for resentment and suffering is high. The negative self righteous narrator in your head can fill your mind with stories of what others should be doing for you…entitlement…what it means that others aren’t meeting your expectations.. 


And those stories can end friendships, marriages and cause reactions that lay powerful blows on others that can never be totally taken back. 


Or, you can master the art of inconvenience.


What are the callings you have in your life? What are the priorities? Goals?


Tony Robbins would want you to connect with the powerful magic of the emotion of WHY you wants those goals. Because that the fuel to get on that path and stay there during all the disappointments, unmet expectations and stories that your brain is going to make up! 


My #1 goal is to be connected to/with God. To be a puppet for the puppet master and used in this life as a resource… using my story to educate others to prevent child sexual assault, and inspire hope.


#2 goal is serve my husband. Like Pastor Adam… How can I serve my husband today? Not keeping ANY tabs on what he has or hasn’t done for me. There is ZERO score keeping or comparison… because I would win and I would emotionally suffer and I would resent him and then contempt would creep in and over time we would head for divorce. 

Expectations for reward or repayment of any kind within your areas of ministry or calling are cancer that will eat away at your joy and cause suffering.


Lets say Charlie needs something at the store and its 9:00pm, raining and Im getting ready for bed. For some reason he cant drive himself.


Its inconvenient for me to throw on different clothes, get in the car, go the store and get him…whatever it is he wanted. 


I could totally let my mind go the fact that 9/10 times he doesn’t remember the one thing I asked him to bring home. Or that maybe he wouldn’t allow himself to be inconvenienced by me in such a way…


This would cause suffering.


My goal re #2 isn’t to manipulate Charlie to change. The goal IS the ministry. Not a manipulation. I want to serve Charlie because I love him and I want my love in action to be of service.


I am strong because of the tribulations I have fought and won.


Learning to put others before yourself and not only tolerating being inconvenienced but using it to become stronger and evolving your spiritual path is masterful! 


My mothers best friend in the world was dying of cancer and begging mom to come be with her…willing to pay for moms flight and everything. Moms ability to be inconvenienced is weak and she didn’t go. Even after her friend died, the sons of her friend called and invited her to fly down, all costs paid, and receive all the jewelry their mother had left for her I the will. Mom didn’t go. Mom has to live with that regret for the rest of this life. Going would’ve been hard, absolutely, but the good would’ve been creating a new norm, strengthening her self confidence and self esteem. 


Balance. You cant master the art of inconvenience if you have nothing to give… 


Thats where my #1 comes in. Being connected to the God of my understanding means taking care of human body suit my Soul lives in. I know when I am giving more than I should when I start getting edgy and resentful. Thats my indicator warning. I pull back and take the actions I need to to refill myself. I try to stay on top of this but sometimes life gets out of balance and then so do I. Im always adjusting my sails.


Time management is huge. Using questions to redirect my inner negative narrator is huge. Accepting the reality of what is is huge. Letting go of expectations of others is huge. Finding balance in my service but also being proactive in my service and getting comfortable with being inconvenienced has been a tremendously powerful tool for spiritual growth and mental toughness for me.


Who wants to do tough volunteer work? Going into a locked down facility is not my idea of a great time! Its inconvenient. Listening to my friend over a period of years talk about her dysfunctional relationship without telling her what she should do or judging her for staying… is inconvenient. Staying up past my bedtime… speaking on a panel far away… being a third wheel…being the driver…doing someones elses job/chore… giving feed back… constantly thinking about acts of kindnesses for other people… 


The reward: The kind of personal growth, healing, inner peace, confidence, self esteem, spiritual growth, life satisfaction that you just cant get another way. 


The two days out of my life it took to see a dying friend… priceless. Knowing I am a great partner, priceless. Being the kind of friend to others that want, priceless. I am BE-ING the kind of human being that I can feel proud of. RECEIVING doesn’t provide that growth, that exercise, the human being evolvement that GIVING/DOING does. All the pushback and comparison and entitlement stories and self righteousness indignation is a great mirror to see where we need healing… and use it as an opportunity to grow. You don’t get to see this stuff without being pushed. 


In this world where checking out of feeling through any number of illegal, immoral or fattening ways is an accepted norm…


Where parents who had tough parents that made them the great adults they are, change the recipe and make life to easy for their children…and wondering why their now adult children are irresponsible, addicted, selfish…entitled. Cant be bothered…inconvenienced to buy their ATM parents a gift for Christmas, birthday card or make a phone call…unless they need something.



“Oh thats the other parents fault…or its THIS generation” excuses don’t cut it.


People who turn their back on neighbors in need but are the first to arrive at the very public fundraiser with media coverage…


Focusing on constant comparing and ME FIRST and whats in it for me, has created an intolerant self medicated society… and even that is excused away… yes I drink two bottles of wine 7 days a week, more on the weekends BUT IM NOT ONE OF THOSE WEAK PEOPLE WHO NEED ANTI ANXIETY MEDICATION. Yes Im on 5 different pills just to fall asleep, wake up, focus and then fall back to sleep… but Im no drug addict. 


Doing the right thing is often inconvenient. Taking the time to learn new skills and prioritize your priorities… find balance, self care, face to face time with friends, find your joy, volunteer, live below your means, be kind, use tough love… can be so damn inconvenient.


Feeling feelings is inconvenient. Dealing with the ups and downs of relationship issues is inconvenient. 


This is life! Its real. Its passionate and juicy … it heartbreaking and disappointing. 

Its inconvenient.


But I promise you… its worth it! Make time in your life to live. Use the inconveniences as a spiritual looking glass into yourself and bloom! 


I believe in you! Love, Catherine


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