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Waiting. If how we do anything, is how we do everything… how do you do “waiting”?

Science has shown that our biology doesn’t know the difference between stress caused by a positive or negative event.

I can’t speak for you, but for me, under stress I can be a control freak, what if thinking the absolute worst kinda gal.

Ive learned some tools that have helped me and I wanted to share with you.

Waiting… so many experiences right?

As a child, waiting for Saturdays, waiting for summer to start, for Christmas morning, waiting to turn two numbers (10) then a teenager (13) then sweet 16… Waiting to get “ungrounded”.

As a teen… well my teenager time was different then most so…waiting for the right moment to runaway from home, waiting for the right moment to steal food of the store shelf, waiting for mom to get me out of jail, waiting to runaway again, waiting for the rape to end… waiting waiting waiting waiting

Waiting for my father to die. He left his body and PTSD exploded in mine. Waiting for each wave of panic to end. Waiting waiting waiting

As a young woman not quite out of teenager, waiting to for the pregnancy test result, waiting to tell the father, waiting to tell my Mom, waiting for the groom to wake up after fainting twice  during the ceremony in his parents farm house, waiting for the first trimester to end, waiting for labor & delivery, waiting for my young husband to grow up. Waiting waiting waiting

What I didn’t have to wait for was cancer.

Dad was told on his first visit to the doctor. 2 months to live. He lived 3.

I was told during my first pap after my second child in 1985. Hysterectomy 2 weeks later.

My Dad, step dad, my Mom, Kathy, Carla, … you know what, Im not going to name everyone…so many. so many.

Waiting to heal, waiting to die… waiting for whatever the end result is. Waiting

So how do we wait in the energy of uncertainty?

One of my most effective tool is something I call


When I call it pretending I free myself from the tug of war with logic. I don’t have to fight with whether or not its TRUE. Im pretending.

Being in the “right this second” moment is a skill. The good news is skills can be learned. We learn through PRACTICE.

  • set yourself up for success by laying a healthy foundation.

         choose to believe in an invisible tribe of invisible Souls, led                  by a supreme being that is both fully male and female.                               Perfect. Loving. Who adores you and conspires for your                             personal highest and best in this life, no matter your karmic                       situation.

         asleep by 10 pm. out of bed by 6am.

         enough clean water

         eat clean. proper macros for your particular biology

         walk 10k steps every day. lift weights 3x a week

         practice cultivating gratitude and appreciation

         let go of expectations of all others

         embrace forgiveness you never received

         practice lovingkindness w proper boundaries in all situations

         purposely act out in wild and wondrous ways so you and                   others can look back and laugh… those memories will                            become a treasure chest of joy that you will most definitely                        need in your meditations when you are required to                                remember and RE FEEL joy.

This foundation, created, formed, not as a hobby or only a weekend or Sunday venture, but as a consistent steady lifestyle… will be your faithful mooring come sunshine or perfect storm.

You will not go under.

Don’t get me wrong…even with daily practice over decades… rouge waves can, and will come. It will feel as if you are under. It will feel as if death has come. If will feel so wild that you may believe the mooring has come untethered.

The stress of waiting like allowing your inner child to take the reins of your wild Arabian …

Breath will slow everything down… tapping will calm your nervous system…intention and the power of pretending will lift you above it all like laughing lifted the children in Mary Poppins… or fizzy drink in Willie Wonka… Tinkerbells pixie dust allowed the children to fly…Imagination for the lost boys…

The power of pretending is magic

These waves of life come like the bad matrix men in sunglasses, their eyes unseen but ill intention undeniably felt.

So my friend it is your choice. Which pill do you want? Red or Blue?

Do you want to believe that your are a powerless victim of a Godless life… or a beloved child… a Spirit of Love and Light from another place, having a human experience… one life or many?

Do want to push, fight and conquer this life or flow with Grace and ease along the living river of life and love?

Questions can set you free… What story is my human mind spinning? How do I behave when I choose to believe that story? Does it constrict or open my heart? Does my behave align with the best version of myself?

What is the story? What else could it mean?

In the waiting …. who do you want to be in this moment? Pretend to be that …behave like that… you will be that…and more. Its magic. lol!

Im waiting. My best friend had a biopsy a few days ago. Hoping for the results on Monday… tomorrow. As on so many stages of life… it could be a hook or an ovation… (love that song).

Its hard to stay in the now moment but I am well practiced through my lifestyle to be in hope and in trust… I choose to trust my loving invisible helpers have my back. I have now and will have everything I need in the very moment I need it to be all I am called to be. I will pretend and it will be… I will pretend to be all the best things I long to be…

Brave. Kind. Loving. Generous. Wild. Creative. Clear. Radiantly healthy. Grateful. Helpful. Wise. A bringer of joy. A conduit for creative solutions and LOVE.

Here is a link to a tapping session with my voice and a predawn video taken from my deck… the squirrel enjoyed it… I hope you do too!

All my Love,


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