Hearing those two words, “me too“ is the equivalent of a secret handshake of the secret Club of Shame. I can’t begin to tell you how many people come up to after one of my talks just to tell me “me too.”
My response is always the same… Im sorry that happened to you. Your past doesn’t have to define your future. You don’t have to live the present moment the guilt of surviving (however you needed to), or to live in shame. It took a long time to really get that I may have acted badly but I wasn’t bad. I believe our destiny is to heal. To Bloom into our highest and best self! I believe our destiny is to be free from toxic guilt, shame, and chronic emotional suffering! It takes a lot of work, but you can absolutely heal and thrive!
Shame and self-righteous indignation suck the joy out of life. Either side of the coin… The survivors who feel utterly unworthy of crumbs on the floor… or those survivors who feel entitled to everything.
The Truth is, there was a time, that I was absolutely innocent, and I was victimized grossly. And there were other times that I was not so innocent, that I offended others too. “Me too”… I was brutally and frequently victimized in the most awful ways imaginable. And “me too”… I have offended, manipulated, robbed, lied, and abused others.
The Reality is, especially in the world of dysfunction… Wounded grown-ups often attract other wounded grownups, abuse each other, some abuse children and the perpetuation of abuse is a cycle of plague that contaminates everything and leaves a wake of destruction in its path.
Sexual abuse of our children is ground zero. It is the genesis of so much horror that it would absolutely blow your mind! When a child is traumatized their very biology is altered. As in the way the body response to medications like blood pressure, blood sugar, the list goes on… Listen people! How the body reacts in response to pain medications! We know that 89% of school dropouts have been sexually abused. We know that 89% of children who bully other children or who are bullied in school were sexually abused. We know that the vast majority of people who are morbidly obese were sexually abused. We know that 94% of all women in prison have been sexually assaulted! People who are addicted to drugs and alcohol, the vast majority of them have been… you see the pattern yet?… sexually abused as children!
To me this whole issue is best explained by using the analogy of a nuclear power plant with a radiation leak! Is every bad thing down the wind from that nuclear power plant caused by the radiation leak? No! But is almost every bad thing downwind from the nuclear power plant radiation leak caused by radiation poisoning… Hell yes!
There are people in that town saying… Hey most of the fish are dying because the water is polluted. Hey our farm animals can’t have babies or their babies are born mutated. Hey are 20-year-olds are all getting these weird strains of cancer and dying. Most, but not all, are directly connected to nuclear radiation poisoning! 89% of the time!
Others are saying, that’s not true! You’re over exaggerating! It’s only 60% of the time not 89%! But the nuclear power plant gives us cheap energy! The nuclear power plant has value! The nuclear power plant isn’t all bad!
In my mind #MeToo is just taking the secret truth and making it not a secret anymore… finally…
The time has come… Indeed long overdue… For a profound shift in our societal norm. We can sure this, what I consider to be the worst global plague in the history of mankind… In three generations! Victor Birth, author of the book “Unto The Third Generation” has this to say…
With consorted effort to heal, educate and proactively prevent child sexual abuse … the domino effect of healing will be profound!
With Love, Catherine Ann Wilson